No Mortal
by CynicAlb
Summary: What if a the veil didn't require a death to seal it? What if it needed a life? What would that do someone? What would they have to live with? AU from Darkest Hour PT2. Now Complete! Sequel is now up The Coming of Emrys.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: Let me set this straight I really liked The Darkest Hour part one. Danger, suspense, Merlin whump, what' s not to like? Part two however had so many plot holes and deus ex machina I was practically screaming at Arthur for not noticing that something's up with Merlin. I swear that boy must have been dropped on his head as a child. I'm not going to enumerate the holes here, if you want a list your can PM or see if you can spot them as I fix 'em with my story. Here's my fix for Darkest Hour part two.

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><p>No Mortal<p>

_"No mortal has ever survived the touch of a Doroca." Gaius -"The Darkest Hour, part one"_

Arthur looked in shock at Merlin's frost covered face, several of the villagers they'd found had the same blank stare, but then Merlin blinked, it was slow almost like he'd closed his eyes, but then he opened them again. Lancelot put his hand to Merlin's chest.

"He's alive Arthur," gasped Lancelot, "we have to get him to the fire."

"There may be more Doroca," said Elyan.

Percival carried Merlin back to the almost depleted fire, while the others defended grabbing wood in turns. They made it back to the fire without incident and Elyan banked the embers and added the new kindling. Percival laid Merlin close to the warmth, and soon the frost had melted from his face. He hadn't moved or said anything, the only indication that he was still alive was the rattle of breath that he managed to heave every few minutes.

"He's frozen," said Lancelot checking Merlin's forehead. "We should cover him and keep him warm."

The knights piled all their sleeping rolls and blankets on him and they stoked the fire as hot as they could.

"How is he even still alive?" asked Gwaine staring at Merlin through the firelight.

"Perhaps the Doroca are getting weaker," said Lancelot.

"Speculating will do us no good," said Arthur, "we need rest. We'll take shifts keeping the fire going during the night and in the morning we'll see how Merlin is and decide how to proceed."

Morning came weakly scattering grey light on the exhausted knights. Elyan was on last watch as the sun rose. Merlin groaned beneath the piles of blankets.

"Hey sleepy are you awake?" asked Elyan. Merlin blinked at him but didn't make another sound.

After few minutes the rest of the knights were up and Merlin was sat on a pile of blankets propping him up.

"He needs medical attention," said Arthur, "one of you will take him back to Camelot."

"No!" said Merlin in a harsh whisper, his head flopped forward on his chest. He didn't seem to have any control over his body at all.

"Merlin," said Arthur kneeling in front of him, "you need help, we need to get you to Gaius."

"No," said Merlin again his head lolling to one side now, "Gaius said no cure, touch Doroca and death. Going to die, Arthur. Sorry."

"No, Merlin you can't talk like that you've survived this long, you can be strong," said Arthur.

"Strong enough to reach the isle and my death will close the veil," Merlin managed to life his head to look Arthur in the eye this time.

"No, it's not your time," said Arthur.

"That's not your choice," said Merlin his head dropping to his chest, "I choose, to save you, to save Camelot. Let me have this last…please," Merlin gasped heaved three breaths and collapsed into the blankets.

"Merlin!" cried Arthur shaking him, "Don't you die now, Merlin, come on!" Lancelot knelt down beside them and checked Merlin's pulse and breathing.

"He's alive," said Lancelot, "but I don't know for how much longer," Lancelot turned to Arthur, "What he said about the veil will closing it require a sacrifice?"

"I believe so," said Arthur, his eyes never leaving Merlin's limp form.

"What are we going to do now?" asked Lancelot.

"We need to keep going," said Leon.

"We have to find help for Merlin," said Arthur standing up.

"Merlin is in no shape to travel," said Lancelot, "the journey back to Camelot may kill him."

"Merlin is going to die, if we don't repair the veil," said Arthur.

"He might die anyway," said Leon, "and hundreds of others will die if we don't complete our quest."

"We're only a few hours away from the isle of the blessed, we can take Merlin with us," said Gwaine, "there might be a cure for him there, and if not at least he'll die with his friends."

"It's what he wants," said Lancelot.

"What he wants is irrelevant," cried Arthur, "he's, he's just a servant he shouldn't have even been out here."

"He's Merlin, Arthur," said Gwaine; "you couldn't have stopped him if you tried."

"Healing the veil requires a sacrifice," said Lancelot, "Merlin has made his choice and we should honor it."

"Is that true?" asked Leon to Arthur.

"It's what Gaius believes," said Arthur.

"So one of us was always going to die on this quest," said Elyan.

"Yes, me," said Arthur, "it's my duty to do whatever it takes to save Camelot."

"We should do what Gwaine said," said Elyan, "go to isle to see what needs to be done, there may be a cure for Merlin and another way to seal the veil."

In the end there was no other choice, separating the group was pointless, it just made them more vulnerable to the Doroca and sending someone back with a barely ambulatory Merlin was suicide. They tethered Merlin to his horse, though he seemed to rouse enough to hold the reins, Arthur chose to lead his horse and Merlin's both. Merlin didn't have the energy to complain, he just laid his head on his horse's mane and closed his eyes.

The trip to the isle of the blessed took much longer, partly because they stopped frequently to try and get Merlin to eat or drink something, but he wasn't getting any stronger. They also stopped because they were all exhausted from the night before. They reached the shore just as the sun peaked in the sky, though the world still looked grey to the group. A boat sat at the waters edge and an old man waited for them.

"We wish passage to the island," said Arthur, tossing the boatman a bag of coins

"I know," said the old man as he caught the bag, "get in." Percival carried Merlin into the boat and the rest of the knights got in behind him. The boatman pushed off the side with his staff and the boat glided over the smooth surface of the lake. The boatman had no oars, and at any rate with their number there was no room to row, yet the boat made it across the distance on that one shove of his stick.

Arthur didn't say anything about this obvious magic, his gaze was too fixed on Merlin lying in the front of the boat, he'd lost consciousness again, his face was ashen and his lips were blue. Arthur couldn't think about anything except getting Merlin help, he tried not to listen to the voice in the back of his head repeating Merlin's last clear thought, to let him go.

The castle seemed to at turns be magnificent and un-aged, and also crumbling around them. It was huge and covered the entire island, they crossed a courtyard and Arthur noted a scorch mark near a stone altar, it wasn't fresh so they moved on. They didn't know where they were going, but they all moved to the same room anyway.

The Kalix stood in tattered robes by the tear in the veil a huge black cloud billowed behind her. Her eyes fell first on Merlin's limp form, then on Arthur.

"Lay him on the altar," she said.

"Wait," said Arthur, "we're here to heal the veil. Merlin was touched by the Doroca, we were hoping you could help him too."

"No mortal has ever survived the touch of the Doroca," said The Kalix, she smirked, "He's lucky. Lay him on the altar," she said again.

Arthur nodded to Percival and he laid Merlin on the altar before the Kalix. She waved her arms over him. "He is weak, the Doroca took most of him," she said, "why is it you want to save this boy? He is not a knight, not one of your own."

"He's my servant," said Arthur, "and a good man. He saved my life."

"A debt you can never repay," said the Kalix nodding. Merlin was awake, he opened his eyes and a soft groan escaped his lips. The Kalix bent down and Merlin whispered in her ear. She laughed and shook her head. "He offers his life for yours to seal the veil."

"No!" cried Arthur, "That's not why I brought him here."

"What if I told you I could not save him, that he could linger here in this state for many months before death?" she asked.

"If you cannot help him, then we will find another way to do so," said Arthur, "If I must sacrifice myself to heal the veil then so be it."

"Arthur you cannot do this Camelot needs you!" said Lancelot, and he stepped forward. "I will go in his place."

"So noble," the Kalix mocked them, then her voice became serious, "you know nothing of the old religion, of the balance I'm required to maintain."

"Why don't you explain yourself then," said Gwaine getting impatient.

"I can help the boy," said the Kalix smoothly, "but there is a price."

"Name it," said Arthur.

"A death on this altar tore the veil open, the balance requires a life to close it."

"I don't understand," said Arthur.

"If I heal the boy, his life will be bound to the veil, to the spirit world itself. His life will stitch the world back together."

"What will that do to Merlin?" asked Lancelot.

"That is for him to discover, the effects of being connected differ from person to person," said the Kalix. She looked down at Merlin who had passed out again. "Time grows short, he will soon be too weak for me to heal him. What is your choice?" she looked at Arthur.

Arthur looked from Merlin to the Kalix, and the tear in the world behind her.

"Do it," he said closing his eyes.

The Kalix turned to Merlin and began reciting a spell, the room cooled and then a wind sudden picked up, blowing around the Kalix and the altar. A whirlwind was quickly formed and the knights were knocked off their feet. Arthur felt himself lifted and thrown back the last he knew was a sharp pain when his head hit the wall.

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><p>End Notes:<p>

There you have it, chapter one. I appreciate all kinds of feedback, please be gentle with me this is my first foray in Merlin fanfic up 'til now I've been strictly SG. But as I said up top, these plot holes were impossible for me to ignore.

More to come stay tuned.

Cynic.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: Just for future reference, I am making Arthur a little bit smarter than he's portrayed in the series, but so far this is not a reveal fic.

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><p>Chapter Two<p>

"Arthur," someone was calling to him, "Arthur!" he felt a slap on his cheek, "Wake up!" Arthur sat up with a start and a groan. "Oh thank goodness, I thought you had permanent damage." That's when he realized he was sitting in total darkness, he almost panicked when something in his head said, 'open your eyes.' It took a couple of seconds for the words to make sense, before he actually did, open his eyes.

Light flooded in and it took in a few minutes before things came into focus. He was sat in a clearing in a small wooded area. A small cooking fire was going nearby and beyond the flames he could see someone lay down from the dark skin and armor he surmised that it was Elyan. He could see glints for armor further away but he couldn't make out who it was until he heard Gwaine's voice, groan something about needing a drink. Suddenly there was someone blocking his view, he looked up into a smiling face and felt a water skin pushed into his hand. "Here drink some water you'll feel better in a minute." Arthur took the skin realized suddenly that he was parched and took a long drink from it.

"Merlin?" he asked still not really understanding what was going on.

"That's me!" said Merlin crouching over the fire adding wood, "how are you feeling?" he asked.

"A little confused," said Arthur taking another swig of water, and feeling himself finally settle into the moment. "What happened?"

"You tell me, one minute I feel like I've had all the life sucked out of me, the next I'm laying in the woods feeling great, but surrounded by five unconscious knights and a dead to the world prince. I couldn't rouse you right away it was getting dark so I started a fire and gathered some supplies."

"Is everyone else okay?" asked Arthur, looking around, Elyan was snoring, and Gwaine was sitting up but still slightly dazed.

"Lancelot and Leon woke up first, they've gone to see if our horses are still where you left them and bring them back and Percival just got up to take care of some business," Merlin looked at Arthur, his brow creased and he shifted his gaze over Arthur's right shoulder. Arthur looked behind him quickly.

"What is it?" he asked seeing nothing in the enclosing darkness.

"Nothing," said Merlin concentrating on the fire now, "I saw a shadow."

"The Doroca!" said Arthur, as if suddenly remembering he stood up and looked out into the trees, "do you think the Kalix kept her word and sealed the veil?"

"I don't know," said Merlin looking up at Arthur, "What deal did you make?"

"I offered myself," said Arthur, "but she said she could heal you and the veil. How are you feeling anyway?"

"I feel fine, great actually, better than I have in weeks. Like I've had the best night's sleep," Merlin smiled at Arthur but it wasn't a happy smile, "I guess the Kalix did as she promised she healed me from the Doroca's touch."

"Let's hope she kept the rest of her word and closed the veil too then," said Arthur, looking at Merlin with concern. Merlin was staring off into space; that little frown on his face again. "Are you sure you're all right Merlin?" he asked. Merlin started out of his reverie and looked up at Arthur, quickly smiling.

"I'm fine Arthur, you should sit down you took a nasty bump to the head." Arthur frowned at him again but didn't mention the tension pinching Merlin's face, or the fact that he looked like he was about to burst into tears. Arthur figured he'd saved his life and nearly died from it, so he'd give Merlin a little slack on recovering his balance.

"You're awake, sire," said Percival emerging from the woods as Arthur sat back down, his head was still killing him, "I'm glad."

"It's good to see you survived too," said Arthur, he smiled at Percival but his thoughts were still on Merlin and the consequences of what he'd done.

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><p>Merlin stoked the flames losing himself to the task, trying his hardest to not show how scared and overwhelmed he was. The Kalix had explained what happened when he woke up and the others were out cold. She told him that there would be side effects from being the plug she used to repair the veil.<p>

"You are a bridge," she said, "You walk in both realms, and in neither. You will see the dead, and they will see you. In time you will see much more."

He Kalix had been right, he could see the shades of the dead that lingered among the living, there were so many on the isle of the blessed sometimes he had trouble concentrating only on the living people there and it wasn't just people he could actually see what the place had looked like before the purge, like the people wandering around him were just really pale and not the specters of the long since dead. It took some time but he'd managed to get the knights back to the boat, across the lake again, and set up camp without curling up into a ball. They needed him to be strong right now, Arthur needed him to be strong. So he would be strong, and ignore Will sitting across the fire from him, shaking his head and frowning.

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><p>Arthur was worried about Merlin but he couldn't voice it. The other men had come back to camp and were all happy that Merlin was up and around, and that they hadn't seen a single Doroca in the forest, the danger had past or so it seemed. Arthur had ruled that they'd rest the night and ride for Camelot first thing in the morning.<p>

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><p>End Notes: A little quiet time, for Merlin angst. I want to thank everyone that reviewed and did an alert for this story you guys are awesome! I want to assure everyone I do have a draft done through to the end, there is only editing needs to be done, so if you spot something that doesn't make sense, feel free to let me know.<p>

Later

Cynic


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Morgana pottered around her hut, happy in the knowledge that she would soon take her place on the throne of Camelot. She turned from tending her fire and dropped the bowl she was holding, not caring that it shattered across the slate floor. The Kalix stood in front of her.

"Emrys has crossed the veil and healed the tear," she said.

"What does that mean?" asked Morgana, "Who is Emrys?"

"Emrys walks in the shadows of the dead," said the Kalix, "It will be your benefit if he gets lost there."

"Why?" asked Morgana.

"If Emrys emerges from the shadows, he will bring with him more power and step closer to his destiny, both with you and with Albion."

"How do I stop him?" asked Morgana, but the Kalix was gone.

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><p>Merlin was running he couldn't help it, as soon as he got to Camelot they started crowding in on him, the living and the dead. Arthur turned to him smiling at the hero's welcome, but all Merlin could see were the specters of the hundreds of townspeople that weren't so lucky.<p>

Merlin's façade crumbled, he jumped off his horse and ran. He ran through the crowds of ghosts and real people, ignoring Arthur and the knights calling out to him, and dived into the nearest corridor. He ran blindly downwards, towards the catacombs beneath the castle, away from people away from their ghosts. He stumbled into an antechamber and fell to his knees, he saw his father shaking his head at him, he couldn't face that so he ducked his head and curled himself up, if he closed his eyes, maybe it would go away.

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><p>Merlin had run away. Arthur couldn't really believe it, for all his taunts to Merlin about being a coward; Arthur had never actually seen Merlin run away in fear.<p>

Gaius had come out to meet them and Arthur dismounted in front him in the courtyard.

"Where's Merlin?" asked Gaius.

"He's gone inside," said Arthur eyeing the other knights, "we need to find him."

"What happened?" asked Gaius just as Gwen came running out to them too.

"Arthur!" she cried smiling, the she looked around, "Where's Merlin?"

"Let's go inside," said Arthur, he turned to the knights, "find Merlin don't disturb him if something's up, just find him and report back."

"I'm sure he'll be okay Arthur," said Lancelot with a quick glance to Gwen.

"Let's hope so," said Arthur.

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><p>Gaius took Arthur to his chambers; the great hall was full of the dead.<p>

Arthur told Gaius everything that had happened from the moment Merlin had been touched by the Doroca half expecting the old physician to be angry with him for allowing his ward to be attacked. But Gaius just nodded when Arthur told him that Merlin had thrown himself in harms way. He told Gaius what the Kalix had said; about being connected and that it might harm Merlin. He told him that Merlin had seemed strained but mostly back to his old self and had only run off as they came into Camelot. Gaius nodded at this.

"Do you know what's happened to him?" asked Arthur.

"I'm afraid so," said Gaius, pulling out a book from the pile on his workbench, "After you left I managed to find this in the archive, it's an old book of rituals from the old religion. Your father had most such books burned during the purge, but this one escaped notice," said Gaius he showed Arthur the battered leather bound book.

"What does it say?" asked Arthur overlooking the existence of a banned text.

"It details the ritual to tear the veil, and the ritual to repair it. I'm sorry I gave you the wrong information before you left. What the Kalix told you was correct, the balance required a life to seal the veil. In the days of the old religion it was considered an honor to seal the veil."

"An honor?" asked Arthur. But Gaius had no time to answer when Gwaine knocked and came in.

"We found him," said Gwaine a little breathless, "you should come quickly."

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><p>Gwaine led them deep into the catacombs; Arthur didn't think he'd ever been this deep below the castle. Lancelot was waiting for them just outside the antechamber. He motioned them in without speaking. Arthur walked in behind Gaius, looking around for Merlin but all he saw was a bunch of rags in the corner, until the rags twitched.<p>

"Oh my boy," Gaius gasped going over to Merlin curling himself as tight as possible into the corner. He rolled Merlin over but Merlin kept his eyes shut tight, he wasn't asleep that was clear. "Merlin," said Gaius in a low voice, "I know what's wrong, I know how to help you." Merlin risked opening his eyes he gasped and turned back towards the wall.

"Make them go away," he said his voice muffled in the wall and his arms.

"I can't Merlin," said Gaius mournfully, "but you can control this, I know you can." Gaius looked up at Arthur who was still stood off to the side. "Can you give us some privacy sire?"

"Is that Arthur?" asked Merlin still facing the wall.

"That's right," said Gaius.

"I'm here Merlin," said Arthur. Merlin spoke quietly and Gaius leaned closer to hear him and stood up next to Arthur. "What did he say?" asked Arthur.

Gaius grimaced, and said, "He said your mother walks at your side."

"What does that mean?" asked Arthur frowning. Merlin groaned and put his hands up over his head.

"Please sire," said Gaius putting his arms out to shield Merlin from him, "Let me see to him." Arthur let Gaius gather him out of the chamber, mostly because he was so surprised by what Merlin had said.

"Keep me informed," said Arthur, "and you can have any help you need for him." Gaius nodded and went back inside. He turned to Lancelot and Gwaine, who were still waiting out in the passage. "Keep and eye on them," he told them, "and I want to know if anything changes. Help Gaius if he asks, but stay out of his way if he doesn't."

"Yes, sire," said Lancelot and Gwaine nodded his gaze moving back to the doorway and Merlin.

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><p>Author's notes: I'm trying to figure out how many chapters before Merlin get's things in hand, and then there's Morgana to deal and Agravaine he's not even weighed in yet! Goodness so much to do! I've also been toying with the idea of making this into a series trying to rewrite the episodes filling in plot holes and pulling my continuity through the whole thing. So whatcha think?<p>

Cynic


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Arthur went to see his uncle to report the threat was resolved, and then he saw his father, who was no better, but also no worse. Still staring blankly out his window, still broken.

His duties seen to, he went to find Gwen. She was in the great hall cleaning up the mess of cots that were there. They were empty now, but Arthur knew they'd been filled with the bodies of the dead; all touched by the Doroca all dead. This tickled at Arthur, the way some things did for him inconsistencies of information and action, especially when it concerned Merlin, everyone whom the Doroca had touched was dead, everyone except for Merlin. Arthur shook himself away from these thoughts; he knew they went nowhere good.

He watched Gwen piling sheets into a bin to be washed; she spoke softly to a few of the townsfolk still there, also helping with the clean up. At least it was only sheets this time; the last major attack on Camelot had caused massive damage to the castle and the lower town, so the residents had to deal with losses of both people and property. This time the only damage was to the people, but Arthur felt it was somehow worse, he knew that given the choice he'd burn Camelot to the ground before harming one of it's citizens. Too bad he was never given the choice.

Gwen finished talking to a woman who looked pale and tired she nodded to Gwen giving a half-hearted smile and left. Arthur approached through the beds, and when Gwen turned and saw him she smiled brightly for a second before the fatigue and grief took her expression again. He folded her into a hug, partly for her benefit, partly for his own, she felt good, warm and alive pressed again him. If he were honest this was the best he'd felt since before Merlin had collapsed at the Samhain feast. A connection tickled but Arthur ignored it, hugging Gwen closer to him instead.

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><p>Gaius heard Arthur's footsteps continue back up the corridor. He turned back to Merlin still curled fetal style on the floor in the corner.<p>

"Oh, my boy," he sighed, "you never have the easy path." He slid carefully down the wall next to Merlin's head, and sat on the floor. He rested his hand in Merlin's hair, and Merlin grabbed in holding it.

"Tell me what's happening Gaius," said Merlin quietly, "before they come back."

"You're seeing spirits Merlin, parts of the dead that have latched on to people and places. Not whole souls, just imprints energy if you will, they exist on the other side of the veil like shadows thrown on a curtain by candle light."

"Why are there so many here?" asked Merlin, "In the woods it was only a few behind each man.

"Camelot is ancient and magical, and a lot of blood has been spilled on these stones."

"No kidding," said Merlin, he turned over the lay on his back facing Gaius now, "It seemed like they swarmed on me when we came in. How do I keep them back?"

"Spirits of this type are formed for extreme emotions, some are positive emotions like love, and loyalty, these spirits are protectors, of the people and places they latch on to."

"Like Arthur's mother?" asked Merlin.

"Yes, I think so," said Gaius.

"I saw her in the woods, when Arthur was unconscious, she was kind of hovering over him. She smiled at me when he woke up and disappeared, she's not always there for me to see but I catch glimpses every now and again."

"She's mostly likely a benign or protective spirit then," said Gaius.

"What about the other kind the ones formed from bad emotions?" asked Merlin.

"There are no bad emotions, just strong ones that have positive or negative effects," said Gaius, "Negative emotions like Anger and hatred produce spirits that do mean harm, or at least want their emotion resolved before they can move on."

"Can they hurt me?" asked Merlin.

"Strong spirits may be able to interact with you, but most of these shades out there are just shadows, they cannot touch you, they don't even see you."

"How do I make them go away?" asked Merlin.

"They're always there," said Gaius, "Just because most people can't see them doesn't change that fact. What you have to do is learn to control the veil."

"How can I do that?" asked Merlin.

"You must focus," said Gaius.

"I can't do it Gaius, there are too many, even here, they crowd me in I cannot shut them out. They are angry and frightened and sad. They are so sad Gaius, it hurts, it hurts so badly," Merlin blinked away tears from his eyes, and brought his hands to his face again. He buried his head in Gaius' lap and sobbed.

"Oh, my boy," said Gaius stroking the back of his head, "we will fix this I promise."

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><p>author's notes: Virtual cookies to everyone who reviews! I'm also cooking up some virtual brownies fat free get 'em while they're hot!<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

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><p>Morgana stood over the fire in her hut, stirring a potion to boiling. Agravaine came in out of breath like he'd been riding hard.<p>

"No need to rush, Agravaine," said Morgana, "I already know."

"You know that Arthur managed to seal the veil?" asked Agravaine.

"I know that Emrys closed it for him," said Morgana, "the kalix appeared to me and told me."

"Emrys? This is the second time she mentioned him," said Agravaine, as he took off his gloves and sat at the table. "Have you figured out who it could be?"

"That's what I'm trying to determine," said Morgana, still stirring by the fire.

"What are you making?" asked Agravaine, not entirely sure he wanted an answer.

"This is a potion, that allows the user to see magic."

"See magic, how do you mean?" asked Agravaine.

"Normally, magic and those that carry magic are not noticeable, the only proof of magic is its effects on the world around us, like the wind in the trees. This will show the magic as a tangible element, coloring people and objects of magic." She dipped her ladle into the pot and poured in into a small bottle, and then she took a second bottle and filled it too, sealing them both with a small cork.

"What does magic look like?" asked Agravaine.

"Like a sheen over a person, the brighter the color the stronger their magic," said Morgana.

"What about someone connected to veil will that show too?" asked Agravaine.

"Yes, it will the veil is another world, so the magic from there will show differently like an aura, or glow around a person."

"How will this help you? You can't go into Camelot without being recognized."

"I'm not going to Camelot," said Morgana, "I'm going to the isle of the blessed, I can use the potion to track the traces of power right to Emrys, and strike while he's weak." She put one of the bottles down in front of Agravaine, "you will return to Camelot, if you suspect someone might be Emrys, use the potion to confirm it, but be careful, Emrys may be weaken but he may still have the power to kill you easily. Send for me, if you find him before I do." Agravaine took the bottle with a shaking hand and put it in his cloak.

"I'll see to it, my lady," he said and stood up to leave.

"Don't fail me on this Agravaine," said Morgana her eyes hard. Agravaine nodded and left.

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><p>"You need to concentrate," said Gaius, he looked at Merlin still sat in the corner of the antechamber beneath the castle. Merlin was shaking with effort his hair was damp with sweat. They'd been sat there for hours as Merlin tried to find the strength to control the veil sealed inside him. "Let's change tracks," said Gaius, "Tell me what you do to control your magic. Not the spells you've learned but your innate magic. The power you control with a thought; how do you stop it from activating on any thought? It must be temping even fleetingly to have thing flying across the room to all the time."<p>

"That's different," said Merlin, "I've been doing that my whole life."

"You still had to learn control, do you remember the first time you moved something with your magic?" asked Gaius.

"Yes," said Merlin with a smile, "I was around two and I wanted a toy off the top of the table."

"What happened?"

"I pulled down half the dishes with it," said Merlin closing his eyes again.

"I bet Hunith was mad about that," said Gaius smiling softly, his eyes showing concern.

"She was scared to death thought there was an evil spirit in the house or something. I watched her working I didn't understand why she rushed about so much when she could just have something come to her," said Merlin.

"She figured out that it was you moving things in the end though," said Gaius.

"Yes, because eventually I stopped breaking things, and started helping her, pulling things closer while she cooked, moving thing out of the way so she wouldn't trip." Gaius smiled at this, "She saw my eyes glow once when I accidently knocked a cup off the table and used my magic to stop it from falling, that's when the whole thing clicked for her."

"So when you first started using your magic it was uncontrollable you broke things when you didn't mean to," Gaius said, "But you learned to slow things down, move more carefully. Control the power you had."

"I was a child Gaius I was playing, learning to control that was the same for me as learning to talk or walk for other kids," said Merlin.

"This is no different Merlin, you just have to focus and learn to control it. Just like any of your other powers."

"My other powers have a purpose, Gaius, what good does it do me to see ghosts?"

"This isn't just seeing spirits Merlin, you have a connection to the fabric between worlds it will enable you to see things most people can't even dream of, when you can focus you will be able to speak to the dead too, and channel their energy through you."

"I can try," said Merlin sitting up, "Nimueh is sitting beside you, she looks sad."

"You traded her life for mine," said Gaius, "it makes sense that part of her would be with me." He faced Merlin, "focus on her feel the part of the veil that is inside you, pull the curtain back again."

Merlin closed his eyes, he reached inside himself for the connection, he felt his magic thrum; it was the warm tingle he'd always known though it had grown stronger the more he worked with his powers. He reached passed the magic, passed the fire of his dragon lord powers, and further deeper almost to his very core, the power of the veil was cold like an icicle on his heart when he reached for it, the power burned freezing him completely.

"No!" cried Merlin his eyes snapped open he stared at Gaius and Nimueh smirked from over his shoulder, "I can't."

"Yes, you can Merlin, you have to control this, or it will control you," Gaius put his hand on Merlin's face, "you are strong Merlin, you can control this try again."

Merlin gritted his teeth, but nodded and closed his eyes again. He reached immediately for the ice, and this time he was ready for the cold, he used his magic as a barrier to it protecting himself, but still letting him access the power of the veil. It was a tremendous amount of power, so much it terrified Merlin, but he kept going he felt Gaius next to him, his own power, and warmth all focused on Merlin, his hand still resting on his shoulder. Merlin's snapped his eyes open, and gasped, he didn't just see Nimueh now, or the other pale spirits in the room, now he saw the veil itself. A billowing cloud of energy all around them, Merlin held up his hand and wiped the veil closed from his sight, he could still feel the energies around him, but he sighed with relief he could no longer see the spirits.

"I did it," said Merlin smiling.

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><p>Author notes: Thank you for my kind reviews! You all are awesome! Today I have a special treat double fudge chocolate chocolate ice cream, virtually fat free!<p>

Cynic


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

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><p>When Merlin let Gaius lead him out of the antechamber; Gwaine and Lancelot were sat there waiting. They got up and smiled at him, but Gaius waved them away. Merlin felt his control slip a fraction and he grabbed Gaius' arm for support.<p>

"Gaius," he said, "I'm not ready."

"It's okay Merlin," said Gaius, "this will take some time." He put his hand over Merlin's. "We'll get you upstairs and I'll give you something to help you sleep." Merlin just nodded his face tight as he fought back control; in the end he closed his eyes and let Gaius lead him back up to the main castle.

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><p>Gaius pulled a blanket over Merlin's still form, he'd given him a sleeping draught to allow him to rest and recover his equilibrium. Arthur stepped inside just as Gaius came out of Merlin's room.<p>

"Sire," said Gaius in a low voice.

"How is he?" asked Arthur.

"He's been able to exert some control, but it's difficult for him to stay focused. I gave him sleeping draught."

"What does this mean for him now Gaius, does Merlin have magic?" asked Arthur.

"This is something that has been done to him," Gaius hissed advancing on Arthur at a startling speed, "I will not have you doubting him for this, Merlin is a good man, who saved your life more than once. Should he survive this intact, Merlin will need our support, not suspicion and mistrust." Gaius was angry, but he kept his tone low and even. "This is not Merlin's fault, and you will not treat him like a criminal because of it."

Arthur stood back surprised but he understood; Merlin was practically a son to Gaius, the very suggestion that Merlin had magic and the consequences of that would scare him.

"I'm not accusing Merlin of anything," said Arthur raising his hands up to Gaius, "I swear, I'm just worried, if whatever the Kalix did put magic in him I need to know if you can cure him of it and if you can't is it dangerous?"

"Merlin would never hurt anyone, except in the defense of others," said Gaius, still clearly upset by the conversation, "I can't undo what the Kalix has done, what you chose to let her do, I might add. But the effect of the veil is passive to everyone but Merlin. He can see the spirits that roam our world, that attach themselves to the living. It's terrifying, and stressful to see ghosts, especially the ones that must inhabit Camelot."

"What do you mean especially here?" asked Arthur.

"Camelot has a rich and bloody history, how would you like to see every person who'd died here, wandering around all the time, in pain or lost? It's torture," said Gaius.

"Are all the spirits he sees in pain?" asked Arthur.

"Not all," said Gaius, "only those that are formed of pain or hatred. Some attach to people out of love, or a need to protect."

"So when Merlin told you my mother walks beside me?"

"Your mother's spirit is with you always, her love for you was instant and eternal, such connections can never be broken, so when she died her spirit couldn't let go of the love she had for you so part of her stayed with you, to love and look out for you," Gaius smiled sadly at Arthur who was trying to hold himself together.

"Merlin saw all that?" asked Arthur hoarsely.

"He saw Egraine with you, and felt her love, and it was so strong it helped Merlin even without him realizing I think, to hold back the other spirits in the wood, but when he came to Camelot, the sheer volume of spirits here overwhelmed whatever unconscious control he had that's why he ran."

"So Merlin is for want of a better term going to be haunted for the rest of his life?" asked Arthur.

"That is the deal that has been made," said Gaius.

"How can we help him?" asked Arthur.

"Merlin can see what we cannot, he must learn to close that vision off, to redraw the veil. What will help is knowing that this will not affect how we see him. Keep what has happened between the knights, and us; no one else should know. This kind of sight may be termed magic, and if the people knew that Merlin had it, they may be afraid of him, or worse it may put him in danger. Not to mention it may put you in a bad position, if when your father returns to health, he decides that this is magic. Would you let Merlin be executed for saving your life?" asked Gaius.

"Of course not," cried Arthur, "Merlin's loyalty is never in question, and if what you say is true, that this sight will not corrupt him like magic does then I see no reason for anything to change. Tell Merlin we're all grateful for what he's done to save us, and his place in Camelot is secure. He can take as much time as he needs to get well, and get this sight under control. When he's ready he can come back to work."

"I'm sure Merlin will be pleased to hear that sire," said Gaius.

"I need to return to my duties, let me know if there's anything you need and you'll have it immediately," said Arthur.

"Yes, sire," said Gaius as Arthur shut the door behind him.

Arthur was across the other side of the castle when he it occurred to him that Gaius hadn't actually said Merlin didn't have magic.

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><p>Author's Notes: I'm Baaack! I've been away, but I'm back now, I'm actually almost done with my sequel for this one, I may be going a bit dark. Though the series itself goes a lot darker too.<p>

Thank you to all of your for your continued support here. Anyone who reviews gets fresh baked chocolate chocolate cookies, and a frosty glass of milk. (Unless you're allergic then I have juice.) Thank again.

Cynic


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

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><p>Gwaine sat nursing a mug of ale in the back of the tavern, he looked up when Lancelot, Elyan, Percival and Leon joined him.<p>

"Thought I'd find you here," said Lancelot setting his own mug down on the table.

"I'm not really up for company, lads," said Gwaine.

"Well tough," said Elyan, "we are."

"You didn't see him," said Gwaine taking a deep swig, "He was white as a sheet and he could barely stand up."

"Merlin's strong," said Percival.

"What do you know?" spat Gwaine, "You barely speak to him."

"In all fairness," said Lancelot, "Percival barely speaks to anyone." Percival punched him on the arm, "Ow!"

"Merlin was the best of us, the bravest person I've ever met," said Gwaine.

"He's a good man, but he's just a servant," said Leon.

"Merlin is not just anything," said Gwaine angrily, "what he isn't is a knight, or a fighter, but we let him come with us on these ridiculous quests, without any armor without even a sword," he pauses for a drink, "but he still walks in to these dangerous situations laughing and joking with us, clearing up after us. And through all that he keeps going back for more. This time went too far. He's my friend and I knew he should not have been out there with us this time." Gwaine finished his drink and called the barmaid for another. She brought over a pitcher and refilled his mug. After she'd gone Lancelot leaned into the table.

"I tried to convince Merlin to go back on the first night, but he refused," said Lancelot, "he serves Arthur without question or limit."

"I think he reached his limit," said Gwaine, "We don't know what that old woman did to him, she might have just perked him up enough to get him home. He might still be dying for all we know." Gwaine frowned, "I don't know what I'd do if he died." The knights sat in silence drinking, their thoughts all on their friend, and their failure to protect him.

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><p>Morgana took the potion on the shore of the isle of the blessed, and she was instantly overcome with the magical energies swirling around her. There were deep oranges, golds, and purples coming from the earth and the trees themselves. She looked down at her hands a dark blood red slid across her skin glinting with sparkles in the twilight.<p>

She found a campsite with a fire pit, and saw red sparks at its center. Morgana felt the warmth of the lingering fire magic and restarted the flames with a word.

It would be harder than she thought to determine which of the energies she saw was that of the veil.

She would have to go to the source to the place where the residual magic was strongest. She would travel to the island at first light.

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><p>It took a few days, because running around being Arthur's doting uncle, council meetings and such, but after awhile Agravaine noticed something.<p>

"Arthur," said Agravaine, after the morning council meeting had wrapped up, "I noticed that young Merlin hasn't been around much lately. I thought you'd never replace him as your servant. I do believe that George is a much better fit for you as the king."

"I haven't replaced Merlin," said Arthur a little coldly, "Merlin was injured when we went to the isle of the blessed, he'll be back at work in a few days."

"Really?" asked Agravaine, only mildly interested, "What happened?"

"He pushed me out of the way of a Doroca and hit his head," said Arthur, "He saved my life."

"That was brave of him," said Agravaine, rolling his eyes, as Arthur looked away, "We should honor him then for saving his prince."

"I offered but Merlin doesn't want a fuss, his wound was quite serious Gaius at first thought he might not survive, he's better now, but Gaius said there might be permanent damage, he's going to need some time to adjust. His courage and loyalty has earned him that much," said Arthur, "I'll probably keep George on to help Merlin ease back into things, there may be things he is not able to do anymore, but I'm not going to dismiss him because of an injury he received protecting me."

"Yes, sire," said Agravaine.

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><p>Author's notes: Hands up who thought Agravaine should have died sooner this season? Hope you enjoy this latest installment. Virtual Flowers and Candy for everyone who reviews. :D<p>

Cynic


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

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><p>Merlin sat up in bed, his room was blessedly spirit free, it had been a week since they returned from the isle of the blessed and Merlin had been able to firm up his control over what he saw in the veil. Merlin smiled it was the first time in days he really felt he could handle this gift as Gaius called it.<p>

Now he could focus without being inundated with the dead, Merlin turned his thoughts to his other problem, dealing with Arthur and the knights.

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><p>Arthur stepped into Gaius chambers quickly but stopped when he saw Merlin was sat at the table reading.<p>

"Oh, Merlin your up!" said Arthur.

"That's great Arthur," said Merlin grinning, "I'm so happy you can state the obvious."

"How are you feeling?" asked Arthur.

"I'm not sick Arthur," said Merlin.

"I know," said Arthur, "are you okay?"

Merlin smiled, "I'm okay."

"So when do you think you'll be able to come back to work?" asked Arthur.

Merlin grimaced closing his book.

"Ask Gaius," he said looking over at Gaius in the corner working with his potions.

"Gaius," Arthur called to him since he didn't seem to have noticed his arrival.

"Oh, sire," said Gaius turning around, "I didn't hear you come in," He smiled.

"I was just wondering when I'm getting my servant back," said Arthur, "It's just George is so good, if you're away much longer it'll be too much of a shock to go back to your useless servant style." Merlin rolled his eyes, and Gaius shook his head.

Gaius sighed. "Merlin can return to his duties tomorrow," Arthur grinned, "but," Gaius raised his finger, "I have some conditions."

"Conditions?" Arthur frowned.

"Merlin needs proper rest so he can stay focused, so he's not to work into the night. His workload prior to this incident was twice what I've seen of other servants in his position; so if you truly need that much done, get some extra help. Keep this George boy on to pick up the slack. Merlin doesn't go hunting anymore, we don't want him helping you track the spirits of dead animals."

"Is that a possibility?" asked Merlin as if this is news to him.

"I don't know," said Gauis, "but it's better you find that out when you're not surrounded by knights."

"Good point," said Merlin.

"Anything else?" asked Arthur.

"We'll have to play it by ear," said Gaius pinching the bridge of his nose, "there's some mention of people being exposed to the Veil being required to act as a conduit between the restless dead and the living, to help them move on."

"What does that mean?" asked Arthur.

"I don't know," said Gaius, "it's all very vague, the higher orders of the old religion were a very secretive bunch."

"Okay," said Arthur with a long sigh, "Merlin will return to his duties starting tomorrow morning, George will stay on to assist him with his chores. Merlin brings me dinner and is done for the evening so he can get enough rest. He may have to commune with the dead, but we'll play that by ear. Did I miss anything?"

"You forgot the part about no hunting," said Merlin trying to hide a grin.

"Right, no hunting dead animals," said Arthur shaking his head, "Okay, I have to go away now," he turned to the door, but stopped he looked over at Merlin, "I'm glad you're okay Merlin, and I'll see you tomorrow," he stepped through the door and called behind him, "try to be on time for once."

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><p>Merlin searched the castle until he found them, all four of them moping in the armory sharpening their swords.<p>

"Hello," said Merlin, suddenly wondering what he could say to them.

"Merlin!" Gwaine smiled at him and put his sword down.

"How are you?" asked Lancelot, moving over for Merlin to sit beside him.

"I'm fine," said Merlin, taking the seat a little awkwardly.

"Are you sure?" asked Gwaine looking at him closely.

"Gaius looked me over, he said I was exhausted, it caused my little episode but I've had a week's rest proper food, and Arthur's promised to take it easy on me for a while. I'm fine really," said Merlin.

"That's great," said Lancelot, "We're all glad you're feeling better." He put a hand on Merlin's shoulder.

"I just wanted to thank you guys," said Merlin looking down at his hands, "for taking care of me, after what happened. I know I was pretty useless, after I was attacked, and you didn't have to take me with you."

"Merlin you saved Arthur's life," said Gwaine, "again, and we would never leave you when you're hurt. You know that."

"I was all but dead, and you had no idea the Kalix could heal me. I wouldn't have blamed any of you if you wanted to leave me there and continue on."

"I don't like repeating myself," said Gwaine, "but let me say again, I would never leave you like that Merlin. If anything we should be apologizing to you."

"What why?" Merlin asked looking confused.

"Because we let you come on that death trap of a quest in the first place," said Gwaine, "we're friends Merlin, but you're not a fighter, you don't even carry a sword when we go out, and yet you're expected to face the same dangers that we do in full armor, and with a variety of weapons."

"I'm not defenseless," said Merlin, frowning.

"We're not saying you are," said Lancelot, "But we may have been taking you for granted, when you come on these trips with us, we forget that you're as vulnerable as the rest of us. And for that we're very sorry."

"Fine, we're all sorry and happy that Merlin's okay," said Gwaine, they all looked at him, and he thought about what he'd just said, "Oh, you know what I meant. Let's go to the tavern, I need a drink!"

They all laughed as they stood up to go to the tavern.

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><p>Author's Notes: Thank you so much everyone who's reviewed so far. I'm so pleased you're enjoying the ride. I've enjoyed it too, and I must tell you that it's almost over. Just a few loose ends to tie up and then I'm done! I mentioned further back I was considering a sequel, so what do you guys think, do you want a sequel?<p>

Cynic


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

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><p>Merlin sat alone, in Arthur's chambers polishing Arthur's boots.<p>

"There," he said lifting them up to see the shine, "you were right, that is a better way to do it. Don't worry, I sent the letter to your wife, she'll know everything you wanted to tell her, I promise." A wind passed through the room and ruffled Merlin's hair; he faced into the draft and smiled. When he opened his eyes Arthur was stood in the doorway.

"Arthur, I thought you were down in the training field with your knights," his face fell a little, "you didn't make poor George join you did you, he's really not that kind of a guy, did you hurt him?" Merlin asked concerned.

"George is fine, I think he's doing laundry," said Arthur, "Who were you talking to Merlin?"

"I was just talking to you didn't you hear?" said Merlin.

"No, who were you talking to just now before I came in?" he asked with a frown, as Merlin just looked down and started on his other boot.

"Oh, well I was just getting some tips on polishing your boots to a higher shine," he pointed at the other boot next to him, "see how well that one turned out."

"Who was giving you these tips?" asked Arthur.

"Another servant, named Martin," said Merlin concentrating on the boot.

"I didn't see him leave," said Arthur.

"You wouldn't Martin died ten years ago, during the purge," said Merlin.

"You saw the ghost of a sorcerer?" asked Arthur a little startled.

"No, I saw the ghost of servant who was killed because he got his master's boots too shiny," said Merlin a little irritated.

"What?" Arthur asked a little taken back.

"Look," said Merlin holding out the boot he'd finished, "It's a mixture of oils and wax; it forms a layer on the leather making it shiny. It's also waterproof and it protects the leather from scuffs."

Arthur took the boots they looked amazing.

"How can anyone think this is sorcery, who would bother to risk magic just to do some chores?" asked Arthur handing the boot back.

"One of the other servants took a shine to Martin's position, he was manservant to the king after all. This other servant informed the King his servant was using magic and pointed to the boots as proof. The King had Martin executed the next day," Merlin went back to polishing the second boot.

"You mentioned something about a letter," said Arthur quietly.

"Yeah, Martin's been wandering around lost, because when he died all he really wanted to do was tell his wife how much he loved her and where their emergency money was hidden. I went and dug up his stash and wrote a letter with everything he had to say, and Gwaine promised he'd drop it off when the patrol goes by the village she moved to in a few days."

"Does Gwaine know he's dropping off a message from a dead-man?" asked Arthur.

"No, I told him the letter was found with the money and I looked up where she was living now," said Merlin.

"So this ghost told you where to find a pile of money and trusted you enough to make sure it got to his wife?" asked Arthur.

"Number one," said Merlin holding up a finger, "I would never steal that's a terrible thing to imply, and number two even if I was that sort of person I couldn't because Martin would know if I didn't fulfill his last request and he'd be back and probably be pissed."

"So what happened to Martin?" asked Arthur.

"He's gone, moved on beyond the veil, now he's done what he felt he needed to do," said Merlin, smiled a little happy at this thought.

"Do you do this a lot?" asked Arthur, sitting down on the hearth with Merlin.

"It feels like I'm always polishing something," said Merlin giving the boot another wipe.

"No, I mean with the spirits," said Arthur, uncomfortable.

"A few a month," said Merlin.

"Do you still see them all the time?" asked Arthur.

"No, just flashes when someone's emotions are strong I can see the spirits that follow them. The ones that want to move on they start to follow me around until I get the hint. But like I said those ones are only a couple a month," Merlin shrugged as he finished the boot and stood it next to the other one. They sat in silence for a moment each thinking about their own side this story.

"You're very brave, Merlin," said Arthur, "to deal with this stuff and not…" he paused.

"Not end up a gibbering wreck?" asked Merlin with a small smile.

"Exactly, I'm not sure I could do it, and still be so chipper about it."

"Well I choose to see it as helping people, I help the dead move on and give the living some closure. Also, if you hadn't allowed the Kalix to heal me, and the veil I'd probably be dead. So it all works out on balance," he shrugged.

Arthur smiled and stood up, "I'm glad you're okay, Merlin, now don't forget to polish my armor and make my bed…." Merlin just grinned at Arthur and tuned him out.

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><p>Morgana groaned in frustration her potion was wearing off and she could see veil energy everywhere. She hadn't anticipated the traces left by the Doroca to be so strong, she would have to wait until it dissipated before continuing her search for Emrys.<p>

She stepped out into the courtyard, as dark clouds gathered over her head, she would find Emrys, and destroy him, and Camelot both. She would have her revenge there was no doubt in her mind. She looked at her hands as she felt the power of the island pulse around her, and her own power with it. Her hands dripped with her own blood red power and she laughed; she laughed and the thunder rumbled above her.

The end.

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><p>End notes:<p>

Thank you everyone so much for your support in this story! I've had so much fun. I have another story I'm posting today feel free to check it out too.

Many many thanks, and cookies for everyone!

cynic


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